Help a Book Help You?

Self-help books.

I assume that they are the flat-packed, D.I.Y, Ikea versions of emotional guidance. Having never read one myself, I am in no position to give any judgement whatsoever as to whether or not they work.

Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder whether or not they actually work. Surely the better option would be to talk to someone about the problem/issue instead?

No, I'm not talking about a professional doctor here. I'm talking about a professional friend. Is it not in the unwritten job description of being a friend to listen and guide a friend in need through their problems? Even Dizzy Rascal said "A friend in need is a friend indeed..." (Maybe in another context, but still, you get the jist!)

Have self-help books, pod-casts and agony aunts become the new emotional cushion we turn to, because everyone else is too busy being wrapped up in their own lives?

British culture has generally always had a great talent for keeping a stiff upper lip and putting on a brave face, however, that's led us nowhere great. We have one of the highest depression rates in the world and I think that it has something to do with the fact that so many of us chose to keep schtum about the things that trouble us.
Personally, I can admit that I am far from good at trusting people and opening up, often opting to let it build up slowly and eventually let it out by either going for a long, intense jog, or simply by having a good cry.

To be honest, it's not that I feel that I can't trust my friends, it's just that I've gotten so used to keeping it all locked in, that opening up would make me feel as If I've entrusted the key of my Pandora's box to a person that could potentially do nothing good with it, leaving me feeling slightly vulnerable and exposed.

This REALLY shouldn't be the case!

Whenever we do have a problem, we should be able to feel as if we can open up and to someone about it, instead of being engulfed by countless doubts and trust issues. Not only that, but as friends, we should always make time for people we care about, so that they can have a release.

I've personally told most of my friends that I'd be more than happy to be there for them 24/7 and promised to not judge and keep whatever they say to myself. I don't see this as doing someone a favour, but as to doing what a friend is meant to do- Listen.

We shouldn't have to turn to self-help guides and whatever else there is, because they will never know you like your friends do, or be able to give you the advice that is most suited for you, because they can't understand you like your true friends can.

Never forget:

"A problem shared is a problem halved."

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this blog post, grab your phone, dial your closest friend's number and tell them how you feel ;)

I'll be your friend! (Until You're not around...)

Friends.

We confide in them, make jokes with them, laugh with them, cry with them... Backstab them?

No?

Are you sure?

It's a shame, I find, that the seemingly closest friendships are standing on a very narrow rope bridge, stretching over rocky rapids in the middle of a wind storm. The worst part is that instead of these girls working it out quietly between each other, the exact opposite happens. The moment someone is around to offer an ear, it all comes out. All the things that this person does that annoy you, all the hypocritical things that they say and in the worst of cases, all of the things that they told you in confidence.

To me, friendship should stretch beyond all the arguments; it shouldn't matter how big, small, serious, or petty they are. If after it still doesn't work, there is no reason for someone to go around telling anyone willing to lend an ear, all of the things that your once-friend told you in confidence.

Too often, people forget all the good things that they went through with a person, because they are too busy being consumed by the anger and hurt that comes with the end of a friendship. I've promised myself that no matter what may happen between me and someone else, I will never spread their business, because it's something that I think is really spiteful and low.

Instead of focusing so much time and energy slagging someone off, people should try and remember why they were once so close to that person, that they felt they could tell you something like that.

The same rings true for relationships. They can often turn really nasty after a break-up with the whole, "he's got a small..." and "she let me..." rumour mills spinning around. Do break-up suddenly make everyone forget that they once really liked (or loved) this person? If that's the case, I'm pretty scared of being in a relationship. I really like the idea of remaining friends with my exs, just because I don't see why we shouldn't be.

Break-ups, whether they're between friends or partners, really shouldn't be the beginning of a never-ending battle between two people who used to like each other enough to be together as much as you are with close friends and partners. It should be a mutual understanding and truce that things didn't work out and that the time to call it a day has come. Don't be the one to throw the first punch, because it's YOU who will look bad and don't stoop low enough to retaliate, otherwise no one will ever be able to trust you and it's not you who deserves to not be trusted.