When the mind wonders...

Earlier this week, I was trapped in a ridiculously boring situation, with nothing else to do, but look busy. In my eyes, there was no better way of doing this than getting the ol' note book out and ferociously write down what to the common person would appear to be notes on what was occurring. I was actually writing lists. Yes. Lists. I was THAT bored and i'd remembered a YouTube post by [The amazing and gorgeous] Charlie McDonnell with a list and thought I should make a couple myself for the sake of my own sanity.

(Please bear in mind that I as sooo bored, that I found EVERYTHING funny at this point)

Here goes:

10 things I'd do if I ruled the World:

1. Tie Nick Griffin to a pole in the middle of Brixton market with a sign saying 'I hate black people' tied around him and just let nature take its course...
2. Create great tasting no-fat, no-calorie food.
3. Send marmite to the middle east. Apparently, their lack of zinc is what makes them grumpy. Who knew?! World peace = Sorted!
4. Create a set nap time for everyone. There is no one on this Earth who doesn't love a good nap.
5. Try to bring back Dodo birds. They look hilarious!
6. Make Boris Johnson a bendy bus driver. See how the buffoon can grunt himself out of that one.
7. Help the less fortunate.
8. Get all the super-rich and influential to make poverty and exploitation history.
9. Get some boffins to work on a time machine, go back in time and put an end to the whole 'how was it all created/is Jesus real?' debate.
10. Give everyone a BGT-like buzzer and the power for them to press it when someone is boring them, pissing them off or being a twit.
    
    Ways of convincing people you're smarter than you really are:

• Flick through the dictionary and use the most ridiculously long and articulate sounding words you can find (and pronounce).
• Memorise random useless facts and come out with them whenever you get the chance.
• Milk your way through debates.
• Pick up a newspaper and pretend to be reading it, when you're really thinking about how the shampoo girl would look with a moustache.
• Wear glasses
• Tie your hair back.
• Nod and say "I agree", when people are discussing 'smart' stuff in order to seem like you know what they're on about.
• Not writing stupid lists in your free time.

Those are two of many. The rest were a bit... meh.